


The Five Stages of Grief

by kylarey



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canon Universe, Canonical Character Death, During Canon, Five Stages of Grief, Grief/Mourning, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 00:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 920
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29800203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kylarey/pseuds/kylarey
Summary: In memoriam.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 16





	The Five Stages of Grief

**Author's Note:**

> I speedran this in a few hours because of the latest stream

DENIAL  
You chuckle as Sam disappears into the prison, shaking your head. Good old Tommy, pulling his little pranks, getting Sam all worried. Maybe this will even get him released earlier. You turn back to Ranboo, half-smiling. You don’t believe it, not for one second. Sam lied about Michael, so of course he’s lying again. And anyways, Tommy wouldn’t go out like that, would he, Tubbo? No, he’d go down swinging, screaming, laughing, in a blaze of fire and colour. And it would never, never be Dream.  
No, this isn’t real and he’s not really dead. You keep walking, walking in this peaceful world in which Tommy lives and breathes. You’ll see him soon, maybe tomorrow or the day after that. You’ll show him the new hotel. He’ll be all sulky about it and you’ll laugh and then maybe when the sun sets you’ll sit on the bench together and listen to music.  
Something deep inside disagrees.  
You ignore it. You’d better get to work on the hotel. Ranboo’s waiting and you want it to look amazing for when Tommy gets back.

—————————— 

ANGER  
You called yourself many things. Knight. Hero. Today, you call yourself a faliure. You failed him, you failed them, and you can never forgive yourself.  
You remember words from a time before. “Good things don’t happen to heroes.”  
Today, you find yourself agreeing.  
Today, you are not a hero.  
Today, you are a faliure. A screaming, raging, vengeful faliure. And if you could not protect, then you will avenge.  
Today you are done with being a hero. Today you will unleash your storm on the world and tear and rip and shred until they understand, until they scream and run. Today you will pull the sky down on their heads and crush the stars in the palms of your hands.  
Tomorrow, you will let the tears fall.  
But not today.  
Today they will hear you roar.  
And they will never forget it.

—————————— 

BARGAINING  
The news reaches you late. Living in the far north, you don’t tend to hear much of current events. The first time you heard it, you didn’t believe it. Rumours, easily dismissed.  
The second time, you know it’s true.  
You don’t really do anything. You check on your pets, brew some potions. Because you can fix this. This is nothing for Technoblade, the blood god. You’ll find Dream, wherever he is now, offer to owe him another favour. He’ll pull a few strings, and everything will be back to normal.  
Or maybe you’ll go back and talk to that cult. The Egg is supposed to be all-powerful, isn’t it? It’ll be able to bring him back. He might not be quite the same, but maybe that’s for the best anyway.  
You might not even do it right away. I mean, it’ll only take a few minutes, right? It can wait until after you’ve finished this farm, right?  
You glance at the ladder that leads down to where he once slept.  
Right?

—————————— 

DEPRESSION  
It’s your fault.  
You know this. Immediately and undeniably, you knew. You couldn’t get there in time. You ran into the cell and he was slumped against the wall and you were met with a calm, calm smile. And you knew.  
Around you, there is screaming. People blame, people fight, people point fingers and cry. You don’t. There is no point.  
At the end of the day, it comes down to this.  
Tommy was there, and Dream was there. And you weren’t.  
Someone calls your name. You ignore them.  
You promised yourself, no mistakes. You promised them too. You promised. And yet you failed anyway.  
Your trident catches the rain and you soar up, up, up, into the dark stormclouds.  
There’s nothing up here, just like there’s nothing left in you.  
It’s your fault.  
And you know it.

—————————— 

ACCEPTANCE  
You choose the flowers carefully. You always loved the meaning behind them. White tulips for forgiveness, red for love, pink for confidence and joy. Because Tommy was full of these things.  
Dasies and lily of the valley for rebirth, because you know he’ll be remembered.  
And poppies, for rest and peace. Because that’s what you wish on him.  
He didn’t even like flowers all that much. You chuckle. He wouldn’t understand this at all. He’d probably tease you for it, too.  
You step back and look at his house, fully decked out in blossoms. Yes, he’d hate this if he were here. And you’re sure that when you finally see him again, you’ll hear about his annoyance no end.  
Half-smiling, you turn away.  
_Sleep well, old friend._

—————————— 

BONUS (ANGER):  
You’re not sure why you’re here.  
Because Jack, you hated him, didn’t you? You crawled out of hell for revenge on him. You lived so that he could die. And now, he’s gone, and you’re here, ripping through ghosts of places that once meant him, clawing desperately for some kind of memory, some kind of whisper of him. Because you hated him, but he’s gone, and even after everything he did to you, took from you, you still miss him.  
You squeeze your eyes shut to stop the tears.  
What was it they said about love and hatred?  
Maybe it’s better this way. Maybe this is for the best. Maybe now you can finally heal. Heal the deep scars he left in you.  
God, you miss him so much.  
You hated him. Still hate him.  
But you wish he was here. And you’re not sure whether you hate him more for that or yourself.

**Author's Note:**

> hi im sorry this is terrible i rushed it but i hope you enjoyed


End file.
